Coz I Can't Make You Love Me
by kAwAii-OnLiNe
Summary: She loves him, he's confused...should she let go or hold on? A sad ExT, one-shot. RR!


Finished: March 04, 2004  
  
Author's Note:  
  
Woohoo..!! This is the very first one-shot fic I actually finished! *sniff!* I'm so happy! Anyway this fic is based on the song of Bonnie Raitt, "I can't make you love me". It's actually one of the saddest love songs ever...and this fic just suddenly popped into my head! ^_^ I'm writing the lyrics here for those who are not familiar with the song. I suggest you read it first so you could relate it to the story. I'm also planning on using this E x T on my other fic I'm currently working on.  
  
Um...I'm also kinda new here in ff.net, so I'm having some difficulty on separating the chapters (of the fic I'm working on!) When I checked it out, one chapter has two chapters in it and I almost want to smack my head on the wall because it's hurting my brain!!! So...hope someone would help me...? Hehe...  
  
Anyway, flames may hurt a little but they're very welcome! ^_^ Enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it! Read and Review..!!! ^_^  
  
kAwAii_OnLiNe ^_^  
  
Disclaimer:  
  
CCS belongs to the wonderful minds of CLAMP and the lyrics of "I can't make you love me" belongs to Bonnie Raitt. I'm juz one of their crazy fans! ^_^  
  
Coz I can't make you love me  
  
Turn down the lights  
  
Turn down the bed  
  
Turn down these voices  
  
inside my head Lay down with me  
  
Tell me no lies  
  
Just hold me close,  
  
don't patronize Don't patronize me Cause I can't make you love me  
  
if you don't  
  
You can't make your heart feel  
  
something it won't  
  
Here in the dark  
  
in these final hours  
  
I will lay down my heart  
  
And I'll feel the power  
  
but you won't  
  
No, you won't  
  
Cause I can't make you love me  
  
if you don't I'll close my eyes  
  
then I won't see  
  
the love you don't feel  
  
when you're holding me Morning will come  
  
and I'll do what's right  
  
just give me till then  
  
to give up this fight  
  
and I will give up this fight Cause I can't make you love me  
  
if you don't  
  
You can't make your heart feel  
  
something it won't  
  
Here in the dark  
  
in these final hours  
  
I will lay down my heart  
  
And I'll feel the power  
  
but you won't  
  
No, you won't  
  
Cause I can't make you love me  
  
if you don't  
  
Tomoyo stood in front of his door, panting heavily from her run with her clothes drenched from the heavy pour of rain outside. The cool air brushed on her wet skin almost painfully but she didn't give notice, neither did she give a damn about the tear that unconsciously trickled down her face, mingling with the drops of rain.  
  
It hurts. Her heart hurts too much she had to grip the clothes of her chest to keep it from breaking, although it might already be too late. It already feels broken, shattered. Crashed into tiny little pieces it seems almost impossible to put it back together.  
  
She lifted her free hand and slowly pushed the door open. It was one of the many rooms inside the big house but she knew she would find him there. The room was pitch dark when she stepped in, abruptly stopping when a lightning struck outside, illuminating what was inside the room. It was a small study room, with a table and a chair, a bookshelf and a couch. There was also a small bar where he would drink wine when he felt like he needed one, just like what he was doing when he stared at her, surprise written all over his face when she entered the room.  
  
He had his glasses off, she noticed. His polo shirt was casually unbuttoned in half, revealing his broad chest. He seemed to have been leaning against the window, looking outside, his mind once again in deep in thought before she came in.  
  
"Tomoyo..."  
  
She almost trembled at the sound of his deep baritone voice, weakness overcoming what was left of her strength. Yes, she was weak against him. The very sight of him makes her knees frail, the very sound of his voice makes her tremble, the very scent of him makes her mind swirl.  
  
She let out her breath she hadn't noticed she'd been holding for so long, but when she tried to speak, her voice seemed to have deserted her. She left her mouth partly open from the loss of words, trying to sort out her unorganized mind, when he took a step towards her.  
  
She looked beautiful. Her wet clothes hung closely on all the right places of her trembling body, showing him the most perfect curves, rivaling that of Venus herself. Her face was a bit flushed from all the running she had made. Her wet hair was loose and wild about her, making her look more exotic and breath taking, and her eyes, oh her eyes, he could never seem to snap out once taken into those deep, amethyst orbs.  
  
And yet all in all, she seemed more fragile than before.  
  
No...a voice inside him said as he blinked out of her hypnotizing gaze and made his way to her. Once near enough to see her closely from the dark, he could feel his heart race almost out of his chest. "You're wet.", he finally managed to say without stuttering and embarrassing himself.  
  
Tomoyo on the other hand could not yet trust her own voice to speak that she only nodded slowly.  
  
"I'll be right back." He told her softly as he went out the door. She didn't even bother to look back when he passed by her. Instead, she tried to calm herself from almost breaking down.  
  
A mask. Another mask. Too many masks. Just how many does he have anyway? Oh how she wanted to rip that cool expression off his face and for once see what he really feels. It's all too frustrating, all too difficult.  
  
Eriol came back with a blue, long sleeved polo shirt and handed it to her. "I'm sorry it's the only one I can let you borrow." He told her sheepishly as she accepted the offer. She was already trembling from the cold and the nearness of him that any little warmth would be very welcome. "I'll be on the other room," with that he left, closing the door behind him.  
  
She undressed her clothes and hung them on the chair to dry. She put on his polo shirt and noticed he had let her borrow something long enough to cover half of her thigh. A smile almost crept in her face. Of course he couldn't give her his pants to wear; it would be too big and definitely look stupid on her.  
  
She made her way barefoot to where Eriol was. It was his bedroom, she noticed, as she stood in front of his door. Dim light greeted her once she stepped inside. The room was as big as she remembered it. The walls were cream colored, and dim blue lights in the corners of the room, emphasizing the dark blue comforter of the bed.  
  
The bed...she suddenly felt how tired she was when she saw how inviting his bed was, and just as suddenly she felt her heart twist achingly when she saw what confirmed the reason she had come running here.  
  
"I've made tea." Tomoyo barely heard him as he entered the room, carrying a small tray. He stopped in his mid track when he found her staring at his suitcases on the carpeted floor just beside the bed. Just then something bit hard on his chest. Guilt...? He thought bitterly as he almost smiled sarcastically in his mind.  
  
"I see..." Eriol heard her whisper almost to herself, tiredness and defeat on her voice. I...guess I couldn't make him love me after all...  
  
It hurts. Her whole damn heart hurts too much. Her mind was in a complete wretched chaos and she couldn't do anything about it. She couldn't get through him after all. And though she couldn't take off that hideous mask of his, his true feelings was right there in front of her, slapping her hard on the face.  
  
He was going away, far away from her.  
  
And she couldn't do anything about it.  
  
Damn it...  
  
"Tomoyo..." she heard him behind her, though she never looked back. She wanted to cry, strangle him, curse him till he burned in hell right in front of her! But she only stood there, her tears frozen when she needed them the most.  
  
Eriol put down the tray on a nearby table and silently walked up to her stoic form. "Tomoyo..." he whispered again when he was near to smell that mesmerizing scent of her. Bad choice...bad choice...he thought, but he never stepped back. Her eyes were downcast and blank when she pressed it close, hard, and sighed heavily.  
  
"When's your flight?" she managed to whisper weakly, still not looking at him.  
  
"Tomorrow afternoon." He answered, his face yet again unreadable.  
  
There was a pause. "I see..." Another pause. "Give my regard to Nakuru and Spinel."  
  
"Of course." Another silence fell between them until he couldn't take it anymore he lifted her face, melting those frozen tears and letting them fall freely on her face, "I'm very sorr..."  
  
"Don't...say anything." She cut him in his mid sentence as she stared at his deep blue eyes. For once she thought she saw a flicker of his emotions, confusion.  
  
He was confused? What should he be confused about? She loves him...he doesn't love her back.  
  
Suddenly he wrapped his arms around her and held her tight she could almost feel his breath tickle her neck, could almost hear the beating of his heart.  
  
"Tomoyo...Tomoyo...you make things so difficult..." he whispered almost desperately.  
  
"Do I...?" she whispered back meekly, melting herself in his strong arms.  
  
"Yes...you confuse me so much..." he tightened his embrace.  
  
"Do I...?" another weak reply.  
  
"Tomoyo..." he almost whined frustratingly when she hushed him to silence.  
  
"Don't talk...just...hold me..." she sadly whispered. Let me pretend, for one final time. Let me pretend that you love me, just as much as I love you. Let these remaining hours be mine, and until then...until then...she whispered mentally as she found herself on his bed, his arms around her, and the voicedsin her head slowly fading away.  
  
She knew when morning comes she'll have to let go, She knew when morning comes everything will finally come to an end. She knew when morning comes the tea will be left forgotten on that silver tray to cool. She knew when morning comes everything will never be the same again.  
  
And she knew until morning comes, she was his, he was hers, and she had never felt more contented until then. 


End file.
